Personal Development


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Chapter XLIX – Throw Your Phone

Someone recently shared a personal experience that left a lasting impression on me.

A young couple were attempting to purchase their first home for their growing family. Their current rental space was bursting at the seams and they were pregnant again.

It was time for bigger accommodations.

This was their first major investment together and despite being more than ready for the move, their questionable finances were complicating the process.

There seemed to be one thing after another: from poor credit scores to long forgotten collections accounts. 

The wife assumed responsibility for finding the perfect house. However, she was still attempting to get them approved for a loan more than a year since the search began and her growing frustration was starting to show.

The situation was creating a lot of stress and tension within the relationship and she was feeling completely overwhelmed.

One beautiful summer afternoon, while her husband was at work and she was outside playing with her two preschoolers – she reached her breaking point. 

She was bombarded with a series of calls requiring more documentation, a larger down payment and better credit scores.

With every call, her anxiety and frustration grew until it was all too much and a flood of emotions erupted.

Here’s the great part: 

In that moment of absolute overwhelm, when she might have ordinarily imploded and fallen apart – she chose something different.

She took a deep calming breath gathered herself and took a different path. 

She reminded herself that what was truly important to her right now were her children and the joy that they were experiencing with their mother. 

She accepted that she was powerless to resolve their housing situation and instead of getting lost in emotion and compromising a magical opportunity with her children, she surrendered all of her angst and rumination to the universe. 

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

She said F it, and literally threw her phone. 

I was struck by the mental images her description evoked, and if I am going to be honest, it made me chuckle. It still makes me laugh.

However, I think her reaction also presents an interesting metaphor that applies to all of us. 

We need to center our intentions on the things that are within our power and the people who mean the most to us. Nothing else really matters.

It’s simple. Accept what life presents, focus on how we respond and learn how to let everything else go. Anything else only results in frustration and disappointment, 

Try to remember that we are hurtling through space on a spinning blue and green rock in the middle of a vast ever-expanding universe and that we are only alive for the briefest moment in time.

If that’s the case, what is truly important?

And how would our lives change if we began regularly throwing our phones and only concerning ourselves with the things within our sphere of influence?  

Rather significantly I expect. 

Side Hustle – Unshackled Solutions Life Coaching and Consulting 

Regardless of our own unique circumstances, most of us believe that we could be doing more.

Maybe it’s a lack of motivation, a search for greater purpose or simply a need for change. 

Do you feel trapped and frustrated? Is something holding you back? Are you seeking more joy and fulfillment?

We often struggle with altering established behaviors, challenging self-limiting beliefs and taking the first tentative steps towards meaningful change – but there is a better life on the other side. Believe me, we can have more!

If you are interested in finding out more about life coaching or exploring what working with me would look like, please contact me directly to schedule a discovery call. No expectation or obligation. 

What is a life coach?

Your Next Best Read – Stealing Fire by Steven Kotler & Jamie Wheal

Instead of grit, better habits, or 10,000 hours, trailblazers in a new revolution are seeking shortcuts to rare and controversial states of consciousness to solve critical challenges and outperform the competition.

The authors of Stealing Fire spent four years investigating the leading edges of this movement and the desire to obtain information, experiences and inspiration that these altered states provide.

Advances in psychology, neurobiology, technology and pharmacology are transforming our ability to better understand ourselves and the world. 

Alternative activities and behaviours are now being utilized by SEAL teams, Nike, Google and Red Bull. The unconventional is becoming normalized and counter-culture is being co-opted. 

Imagine being able to find ‘flow’ on demand and increase both your productivity and peace by taking a drug or through embedded technology. It begs some interesting questions.

Stealing Fire is a provocative examination of what’s actually possible; a guidebook for anyone who wants to radically upgrade their life.

Positive Reflections – What’s Good?

8:37 Rebirth

8:37 REBIRTH is a physiological drama about hope, redemption and letting go. It follows two men – who as teens were forever linked by a tragic shooting – who are brought back together years later.

That’s the official trailer description, but it’s so much more… 

I went to a showing on Friday at the Marigold Center and I was completely blown away. That’s not an understatement. It was truly a remarkable film. 

At times it feels like a theatrical production, and I say that in the best way possible. It evokes a range of emotions and leaves you with conflicting feelings and a slew of unanswered questions.  

It is gripping and I was transfixed for the entire film. 

It weaves together a gripping narrative of redemption, unresolved trauma, our yearning for the same things and the consequences of failing to consider each other’s unique circumstances.

There was so much to like about the movie. 

It was well written. You can feel the mounting tension as the two protagonists careen towards an inevitable showdown. 

The acting is amazing(Glen Gould is my new favorite Canadian actor), the characters are complex and Sergui’s transformation is riveting.

It’s a thrilling ride. 

I could especially identify with Jared’s struggles returning to the community after such a lengthy prison sentence. 

One of my primary duties as a parole officer was helping offenders navigate the difficulties of reintegration.

Many experience difficulty finding suitable accommodations and accessing appropriate resources, others suffer from mental instability and addictions.

There is considerable anxiety, fear and apprehension, and EVERYONE struggles with the adjustment.  

The film also features the artwork of world renowned Mi’kmaq artist Alan Sylliboy which adds another element of depth and beauty to the audio-visual experience. 

And the ending. The ENDING! It was genius. Mind you, I can say that now I have had time to process my initial shock and frustration.

To top it off, the Writer and Director were present to answer questions and provide perspective and the audience learned of an unexpected alternative outcome. Imagine that.

I strongly encourage you to watch 8:37 Rebirth.

It was written, produced and filmed in Nova Scotia by Nova Scotians during the pandemic. 

It has also won a slew of notable awards including Best Director for Juanita Peters, a proud African Nova Scotian hailing from Weymouth Falls. 

Life provides us with valuable opportunities for Rebirth, regardless of our circumstances. We need only be open to it. 

Public Announcement

The Black Men’s Wellness Group – We’re Back!

The Black Men’s Wellness Group will reconvene on Saturday September 24th at 1pm for our first monthly meeting since the summer break. It will be held in the Unity Room at the Colchester Library 

The purpose of the group is simple: to connect Black men in a safe space, engage in some meaningful discussion and explore ways to live better.

Most brothers leave feeling a little better than when they came. The atmosphere is relaxed and there is no expectation to participate. Just being is enough.

Anyone identifying as a Black man is invited to attend. Come out, connect and contribute to the conversation. Also join our Facebook group – Community Strong

Save the date, make the commitment and invest in your wellness and personal development. I am Jude.

Photo by curtis powell on Unsplash

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