Chapter LV – We Grow Through What We Go Through
I am Jude. We grow through what we go through. In fact, I am convinced that everything that happens to us is really happening FOR us.
We are constantly provided with opportunities to evolve. Life is a series of unique challenges that encourage us to Be Better.
Misfortune, setbacks and disappointment are all part of the human experience. Shit happens.
In many instances, circumstances are beyond our control. However, we always get to choose how we respond. Nothing – and no one can take that away.
We determine whether we embrace these moments with optimism and equanimity or respond with cynicism and resentment. The choice is ours.
I am attempting to appreciate ‘the now’ regardless of its tidings and constantly remind myself that there are lessons and blessings in everything.
I’m learning to accept and not resist.
It’s very early in the process but I am already seeing the results of this new mindset.
I have become convinced that life is preparing me for something more. I have no idea what that something is yet, but I don’t need to know.
My responsibility is to remain mindful, do the work and appreciate the process. This path is uniquely mine.
My faith is growing and that is encouraging me to LIVE.
That consists of performing the daily rituals that encourage me to Break Free and Be Better.
But it also means risking failure, embarrassment and ridicule from myself, and the judgement of others.
To that end, you have no idea how well I am failing.
Whether it’s trying to be a better man, avoiding distractions or demonstrating more dedication to my writing and coaching practice, I am experiencing my fair share of disappointment. And paradoxically that’s a good thing.
A perfect example is an interview I gave for a local podcast and radio show about a month ago. The host was a fellow life coach who offered the opportunity to share my story and promote my business.
However, things didn’t go well. In fact, it was a trainwreck.
She was incredible: warm, engaging and professional. I, on the other hand, was all over the place. I was extremely nervous and had difficulty expressing myself.
It was bad.
In the past this would have resulted in a spiral of shitty thinking which might have derailed me.
It offered the perfect opportunity to question whether I should continue ‘putting myself out there’ and risking the consequences of vulnerability. Why not play it safe?
In truth, I might have quietly begun the familiar process of quitting.
But I am trying to change all that.
After moving through my emotional mind, I was able to consider the situation with logic and reason. It was my first time doing anything like this.
I offered myself equal measures of grace and compassion – and I let it go.
I refused to ruminate and engage in destructive self-talk. Instead, I reminded myself of the courage it took to do the interview and the benefits of challenging myself to be more, regardless of the outcome.
The universe favors the brave. We only need to begin taking the first tentative steps forward before it conspires to assist us.
I am convinced that there are invaluable lessons and blessings in our setbacks and misfortunes. The rewards far outweigh the scrapes and bruises that we experience along the way.
I am sure of it.
Side Hustle – Unshackled Solutions Life Coaching and Consulting
Most of us are struggling. We are seeking greater purpose and fulfillment in our lives.
What if you could begin waking up energized and eager to confront the day?
How would your life change if you possessed more purpose and passion?
I believe that every sunrise presents a new opportunity to Break Free and Be Better.
Who we are today does not define who we are tomorrow – unless we let it. Unlike any other animal, we have the power to completely reinvent ourselves.
However, change is an action. It is the result of focus, consistent effort and determination.
Let’s work together to help you find clarity, motivation and discipline in the pursuit of a more meaningful life.
Quote “You have to do it by yourself, but you can’t do it alone.”
If you are interested in finding out more about life coaching or exploring what working with me would look like, please contact me directly at unshackledsolutions@gmail.com to schedule a discovery call.
Your Next Best Read – The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
The Four Agreements is one of the most significant books I have read since I began my personal development journey.
The principles are simple and straight-forward but are also extremely profound.
Be Impeccable with Your Word
Don’t Take Anything Personally
Don’t Make Assumptions
Always Do Your Best
I first read this almost two years ago but I have subsequently listened to the individual agreements many times on Youtube.
Despite all of the reading I do, I continue returning to this short practical guide for living a better life.
It challenges the internal judge which plagues all of our thoughts and allows us to question our mental domestication and the unconscious dream of the planet.
Constructs that limit our ability to obtain joy, fulfillment and inner peace.
Positive Reflections – What’s Good?
The Meyers-Briggs Breakdown
Last week I Invited colleagues, friends and family to complete the questionnaire at 16personality.com and join a Zoom call with Coach Stacy Poe.
The purpose was simple: engage in some meaningful dialogue about the results from the Meyers-Briggs Personality Test, one of the world’s most well-known psychological tools.
It provided an opportunity to explore my four letters(INFJ) and I am so glad I did. I learn something new every time I review my results.
Stacy reviewed the domains, answered questions and provided some meaningful insight about the sixteen(16) personality types.
She also shared personal experiences about how this psychological tool can help us better understand ourselves and others.
For her, learning her children’s individual personality types helped illuminate how they process information, make decisions and perceive the world.
Effectively, it allowed her to gain insight into how they were hard-wired. And that was priceless.
The great thing is this increased awareness can provide us with the same transformational benefits.
It can help us function better in our daily lives and improve our relationships with the people that we care about the most.
Consider for a moment what our world would be like if we consistently considered circumstances from someone else’s perspective?
I am convinced it would be a very different place.
Personal Development
Registration is open for the 4th Annual Black Men’s Health Conference.
This year we will be convening over 200 Black men at the NSCC Akerley Campus in Dartmouth, NS on November 19th for fellowship and brotherhood.
We have created a number of meaningful engagement sessions focused on relevant issues related to Black’s men’s health.
❒ Confronting the Consequences of Trauma and Learning to Love Yourself – Dr. Jacob Cookey
❒ Enough is Enough: Ending Gun Violence – Corvell Beals, Marcus James & Corey Wright
❒ Redefining Education for Black Learners – Pipeline to Prison – Kenny Fells & Conrad Grosse
❒ Creating Generational Wealth: From Fundamentals to Financial Freedom – Jason Vaillancourt
❒ Young, Gifted and Black: The New Generation of Black Business – Alfred Burgusson, Nevell Provo
❒ Transformational Power of Mindfulness and Developing Wellbeing – Jude Clyke & Korede Akindoju
❒ Raising Healthy Black Boys and Confronting Toxic Masculinity – Russell Brooks And Guest
❒ We are Family: Uniting Persons of Black African Ancestry in Nova Scotia – David Divine
❒ Health Prevention – Ways to Keep me Well – Dr. Ron Milne
❒ Healthy Relationships – Daniel Searl
❒ Who’s Hiring: Finding Employment as a Black Man in Nova Scotia – Donnie Fairfax & Robert French
❒ Mental Wellness as a Black Man – Tyler Simmonds
❒ Human Rights and Black Men’s Health: A conversation – Ayo Aladejebi
Check out the workshops and choose the ones that are most relevant to your individual interests. Register and make the commitment to attend.
Take advantage of this RARE opportunity to commune with other brothers and engage in meaningful dialogue about subjects that are related to your Blackness and well-being.
While you are at it, encourage other Black men to attend.
See You There. I am Jude
