Personal Development


Chapter LIII – Contentment

I am Jude. Too many of us are consumed by what we believe is missing from our lives. 

We are constantly seeking ‘things’ outside of ourselves to feel whole. 

We have been convinced that material possessions or money will somehow make our lives more complete. 

And while I certainly believe that we all need to be future focused and goal-oriented, far too often we operate out of a position of perceived lack. 

We are always wanting. 

We experience brief moments of joy with fashionable clothes, a nicer car, more money or a bigger house.  

We convince ourselves that a new relationship or a vacation will provide us with what we need. 

However, it’s never enough.

As soon as we obtain a promotion at work, find the perfect shoes or meet the right person, our sights invariably shift to something new.

I know I have struggled with this self-defeating thinking.

What would happen if we were able to focus exclusively on what we possess as opposed to what is missing?

We would experience life differently. That’s for sure!

One perspective leads to gratitude, fulfillment and joy, while the other results in sadness, self-criticism and resentment.

I am seeking the former as I have found no satisfaction with what I have been doing.

In fact, it has only led to frustration and disappointment.

Furthermore, I am of the opinion that we have no hope of ever finding peace or contentment if we constantly ruminate about what we don’t have. 

After over fifty (50) years, I am realizing that I manifest what I think and believe. My mindset controls how I operate in the world. 

It starts and ends with me. 

We alone possess the ability to determine the level of happiness that we experience – and here is the key, we have to find it inside ourselves first.

The formula also includes healthy measures of gratitude and mindfulness.

Simply put, avoid comparing yourself to others or where you think you should be, recognize what is truly important in this moment and celebrate everything good in your life. 

The world immediately becomes a better place. It’s just that easy.

Side Hustle – Unshackled Solutions Life Coaching and Consulting 

Most of us are struggling. We are seeking greater purpose and fulfillment in our lives. 

What if you could wake up energized and eager to confront the day? How would your life change if you possessed more purpose and passion?

I believe that every sunrise presents a new opportunity to Break Free and Be Better. 

Who we are today does not define who we are tomorrow – unless we let it. Unlike any other animal, we have the power to completely reinvent ourselves. 

However, change is an action. It is the result of focus, consistent effort and determination.

Let’s work together to help you find clarity, motivation and discipline in the pursuit of living a better life. 

Quote “You have to do it by yourself, but you can’t do it alone.”

If you are interested in finding out more about life coaching or exploring what working with me would look like, please contact me directly at to schedule a discovery call.

Positive Reflections – What’s Good?

I went to Frankenstein on the weekend, a Halloween inspired theatrical production at the Marigold Center. 

I have always empathized with this tortured villain. In fact, I believe that he was a tragic and misunderstood figure.

Despite being created by an unscrupulous scientist, he was good natured and humane.

He was persecuted for being different: for simply being alive.

And he was searching for the same things we are all desperately seeking, understanding and a sense of belonging.

There were a number of unfortunate deaths during his rampage but I attribute that to misdirected anger and frustration.

My wife was away for the night and I questioned whether I should go by myself but I am glad that I did. 

I am challenging myself to do uncomfortable things and it was another great performance, so it was a win on both counts. 

I have now seen a number of productions at the Marigold Center and continue to be impressed by the quality of the acting. 

Individuals you see everyday in the gym or at the grocery store are transformed through the magic of theatre. 

It’s inspirational watching people expressing their passions and unique talents.

I will be back for the next production. I can use all of the motivation I can get. 

Personal Development

Black Men’s Wellness Group

Black Men’s Wellness Group meeting this upcoming Saturday – November 5th at 1pm in the Unity Room at the Colchester Library.

The purpose of the group is simple: to connect Black men in a safe space, engage in some meaningful discussion and explore ways to live better.

Anyone identifying as a Black man is invited to attend. This month’s topic for discussion – Mindfulness and the Peace it can Provide.

Maintaining awareness of one’s thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, and environment is referred to as mindfulness.

It also involves acknowledging our thoughts and feelings without passing judgement on them. 

Mindfulness allows us to quiet the voice in our head and who couldn’t benefit from that. 

Come out, connect and contribute to the conversation. Hope to see you there. I am Jude

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